Some Things Never Change
by Pforte
Summary: What if Gory's "You're gonna die" wasn't an empty threat and the series had continued? Starts where 3.20 left off. VeronicaLogan


**Disclaimer:** Veronica Mars was created by Rob Thomas. I do not own anything, I'm only playing in his universe. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

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**Some Things Never Change**

Her phone rang at 2.15 am. She fumbled blindly for it and, discovering that the number told her nothing, croaked a sleepy "Yeah?"

"Veronica Mars?" a female voice asked.

"Yes, that's me," Veronica answered.

"I'm calling you because you're listed as Logan Echolls' emergency contact, although we understand that you are not a family member. Is that correct?"

Instantly, Veronica was wide awake. She was Logan's emergency contact?

"I'm his cousin, actually. Is he in trouble?"

"Ms Mars, I need to inform you that Mr Echolls was taken to the hospital earlier tonight. He is in stable condition by now but --"

"Which hospital?" Veronica interrupted, her palms sweaty. Had Logan been in an accident or had Gorya Sorokin struck as he had promised to do?

The nurse answered her as Veronica was already getting dressed. Five minutes later, she grabbed her notebook and her bag and rushed out of the room. Her leg tangled in the strap of her bag and she stumbled and fell in the dark.

The door to her father's bedroom opened as she stuffed her wallet and mobile back into her bag. "Something the matter?"

Her voice sounded very small and scared to her own ears. "It's Logan."

* * *

She reached the hospital fifteen minutes later. Five days had gone by since Logan had beat up Gorya, five days in which she had not spoken to him. Stupid, stupid her! She should have taken the threat more seriously, should have tried to get some incriminating information on the guy (something that did not involve bodies in trunks), should have done something with the picture the camera in the pen had taken, should have… 

Veronica hit the steering wheel in frustration and bit back tears. She had been a bad friend.

The light in the reception was screamingly bright. "I'm Veronica Mars and someone called me because of Logan Echolls," she spurted out. The nurse looked at her with a sharp eye.

"Are you of age?"

"Yes, of course I am. Now, what is the matter?"

The nurse leafed through a planner. "Are you a relative?"

"Yes," Veronica said impatiently. "But I must have forgotten to bring my birth certificate and blood samples. No idea why that is."

"These are standard questions, miss. Second floor for you."

Veronica checked the signs on the wall and her heart sank when she read the words _intensive care. _

She had always thought that the elevator to the presidential suite was the longest ride imaginable but now Veronica realised that waiting for the damn elevator in a hospital and then waiting for it to make its way up one floor could be so much longer.

There was more waiting. Veronica had to wait for the doctor for almost an hour. Before he showed up, her dad called her but she was mono-syllabic and promised him to call back as soon as she knew something.

"Veronica Mars?" a tall, middle-aged man in a white lab coat asked her, just as she was considering hacking into the hospital computer. She nodded. "I'm Doctor Benson. You're Mr Echolls´ cousin, is that correct?"

"If I get asked this question one more time I'll have a hissy fit," she said darkly.

The doctor gave her a tight smile. "Ms Mars, your cousin was put into my care shortly after midnight. He was stabbed twice and apparently left for dead in the parking lot of the Neptune Grand." Veronica gasped. "Additionally, he received quite a beating and two of his ribs and one finger are fractured. Fortunately, no vital organs were punctured but the blood loss was severe and whoever attacked him missed his heart by two inches. We had some trouble to stop the bleeding but Mr Echolls is now in stable condition."

Veronica blinked. It was harder and harder to understand him with the blood rushing loudly in her ears. Logan had been stabbed and left for dead. He was in hospital because he had beaten up the man who had publicly humiliated her.

"Can I...can I see him?" she asked, when the doctor had finished.

"Not yet, I'm afraid. Shall we call anyone else?"

Anyone else? Who cared about Logan? His parents were dead, his half-brother did not even know him, Dick was probably somewhere off to a party and Trina had not even shown up for her stepmother's funeral and she would make sure to bring cameras, something that would endanger Logan's life even more. Gorya and his buddies left Logan in the belief that he was dying and as long as she did not know how to stop them from trying again, she had rather not any media reporting on _T__he_ _Echolls__C__urse_.

"Ms Mars?" Doctor Benson eyed her through his square glasses.

"There is no one else."

* * *

The clock on the wall drove her mad. The steady tick-tock seemed to mock her and it was only drowned out by the occasional ringing of the phone. The smell of disinfectant made her as sick as the growing self-reproaches. Logan had defended her honour and stood up for her when nobody else would, not even Veronica herself, and she had thanked him with stubborn silence. When he had apologised to Piz, the realisation had dawned on her that he had really been concerned about her well-being and hadn't just seized the opportunity to beat up her boyfriend. Unsurprisingly, she had believed he was petty enough to do that, had believed the worst of him. But no, he had apologised and walked away with his head held high and she had loved him for it. Love was a sentiment Veronica had been careful not to name in one sentence with Logan for weeks. This relationship with Piz had to work, it was good and safe, and Logan had had enough chances, right? Wrong. With growing horror Veronica realised that she had forgiven Madison, the girl she loathed more than anything, the girl who had roofied her and would do it again without second thoughts, but not Logan, who had saved her life so many times she had stopped counting. 

At seven in the morning her dad showed up and forced a cup of coffee into her clammy hand. She sipped mechanically and the hot liquid burnt down her throat and revived her somewhat.

"What did he do this time?"

"Protect me," Veronica bit out. Small wonder that her dad had such a low opinion of Logan. Contrary to Piz, the _good_ boy, she had rarely brought Logan over and her dad had never got to know him. Now that she thought of it, none of her friends knew Logan very well because she had kept him apart from them. It had been Parker who had properly introduced him to their little circle. She could almost hear Mac saying, _Guess I never thought much of the guy when you two were dating. Surly thing, you know. But since he's been around so much lately, I've seen his sweet side. Probably the side you saw all the time. _And Mac had technically known Logan since high school. Yeah, Veronica had been a good friend.

"Honey, it is not your fault that he's here," Keith Mars assured his daughter and took her into his arms. It was a little awkward because they were both sitting on uncomfortable metal chairs and Veronica's bag was crammed between them, but it felt like heaven. It took a few minutes for Veronica to realise that she was sobbing silently into her dad's shirt. It was not her fault but _it was_.

She had never taken the time to analyse the most complicated relationship in her life. Whenever things got rough, she busied herself with a case and focussed on others. In fact, everything inside of her was screaming to start the research on Logan's attackers but a strange sort of paralysis glued her to the chair and kept her from opening her notebook. Her dad rubbed her back soothingly but it was as if she was disconnected from the scene, as if she was standing by and watching herself being comforted.

It was after ten when she was allowed to see him for a few minutes. She knew that it was bound to be a horrible sight but nothing prepared her for all the tubes, bandages and bruises, which were horribly accentuated on his pale skin. He looked so young and vulnerable, it made her ache inside. Someone would pay for this!

"Don't worry, Logan," she whispered, fearful to disturb him. "You'll be up in no time and some people will be very sorry for what they did to you."

Logan's bruised face stayed in her mind long after she had been ushered out of the room. The need to do something was almost overwhelming but she was afraid to leave him. What if his condition deteriorated while she was away?

"How is he?" Keith asked, worried at the look on her face.

"Bad. He looks horrible. Dad, would you mind staying here for an hour or so? I want to get him a few things for when he wakes up. And I suppose I need to tell Dick that he's here."

"OK, honey. Take your time and do whatever you have to do. But there is something I don't understand. Why did the hospital call you in the first place?"

Veronica looked at him and almost choked on the words. "Because there is no one else and I'm his emergency contact. That reminds me, dad." She lowered her voice. "I need a document confirming that I'm Logan's cousin. Just in case, you know."

"I'll arrange that, don't worry."

She bent down to where he was sitting and kissed his check. "Thanks, dad."

* * *

She still carried the key card to Logan's place around in her bag, so she did not have to drive home first. Surprisingly, Dick was there and not hung over. 

"Hey, Ronnie," he greeted her, not really looking up from the game he was playing. "Sneaking into your ex's apartment while he's away is not cool, you know. You could have knocked 'cause I could have been nude or something. Or is that why you're here?"

Veronica didn't bother with a reply and walked straight into Logan's room. She found a sports bag under his bed and started packing. Boxers, t-shirts, socks. She went back into the main room and dropped a few DVDs into the bag.

"What's up, V? Is he, like, moving in with you? Did I miss something?"

Veronica turned to him, her cold stare shutting him up immediately. "Logan's in the hospital, Dick. He's really hurt. Someone stabbed him. So spare me your dumb comments because, frankly, I don't have time for this." She rushed into the bathroom and collected Logan's razor and toothbrush.

"Dude, what happened?" Dick stood right behind her, worry written all over his face. It was strange to see Dick showing sincere emotions.

"I don't know yet but I won't rest till I found out," Veronica answered. "Oh, and Dick, don't tell anyone and I mean _anyone._ If the wrong people find out Logan's still breathing..." She took a deep breath. "Just play dumb for a while, OK? We all know you're pretty good at that."

"Hey," Dick called after her. She was already at the door. "He's my buddy, too."

* * *

On the way back to the hospital, Piz called her. Feeling only slightly guilty, she ignored the call. She did not know what to tell him and, right now, it was more important to find out whom she had to bribe, blackmail or threaten to get to Gorya. It seemed to be clear that he was the one behind the attack but it would be hard to prove and even harder to eliminate the risk of him trying again. If the Castle was not behind all of this she could start with Jake Kane. Granted, she was not in his good books and if he had left town already it would be hard to get a hold on him. In fact, it might prove necessary to track down Duncan for this. Veronica had promised herself never to go looking for him and his daughter but, back then, she had not known that a psychotic Russian was out to humiliate her and kill her friends. Logan had been right. Someone always had to pay. 

"Here you go, Veronica," Keith said and handed her a big brown envelop. With a grateful smile she pulled out the documents that claimed her relation to Logan Echolls. Hopefully, she would not need them.

"Thanks, dad." Veronica gave him a peck. "You're the best."

"I know, I know." He got up and stretched dramatically. "These chairs were clearly made for torture."

"Is there any news?" Veronica asked anxiously.

Keith frowned. "No. I'm sorry but as far as I know he hasn't woken up yet." With a sigh Veronica sank down on the chair her dad had been sitting on. "Honey, do you know what happened? You said Logan protected you but from what?"

Veronica knew that she could not tell him everything she knew but she was also aware that she would need her father's help. She begged him closer and he sat down next to her. "There is a secret organisation at Hurst," she began, "and I stumbled across them by accident."

"Of course," Keith remarked dryly.

She slapped his arm. "Will you let me finish? Great. Well, I didn't go looking for trouble _this time_. Someone tried to get Weevil busted for something he hadn't done and when I found out that it was a bunch of privileged college kids I wanted them to be very, very sorry." Keith gave her a long look she chose to ignore. "Unfortunately, this organisation isn't picky when it comes to creeps and one of their newest members is a psychotic jackass – and not in the _every high school has one_ sense. That's where Logan comes in. He beat the guy up in the middle of the cafeteria and that made him a tiny bit unhappy. He sort of swore bloody revenge."

"Sounds like a typical Logan problem," Keith commented.

"Well, it's not," Veronica said sharply. "He wouldn't be in hospital if it wasn't for me. If I hadn't provoked them..."

"Veronica, has this anything to do with you breaking into Jake Kane's house?"

"It might have," she said with a guilty smile.

Abruptly, Keith seized her arm and pulled her closer. "Listen, I want you to stay away from him. He's dangerous, you know that. God, Veronica, you should know better," he reproached her.

"I didn't know he was involved," Veronica defended herself. "I only realised it when I was already in. And I'm almost sure that Duncan's father has nothing to do with the attack on Logan. He is powerful enough to punish the guy responsible for it though. But dad, I might need your help to contact him and it may involve tracking down Duncan."

"Are you out of your mind?"

Veronica pulled out of his grip. "No, but you might want to consider that there is someone at my college who's running around thinking that he can get away with murder. They want him dead, dad! They stabbed him and then left him there to die! That's the second friend I would have lost within a few years and I won't let a crazed power-hungry psycho get away with it!"

"Keep your voice down," Keith chided her. He looked more worried than angry now. Slumping in his chair, he let out a deep breath. "All right, I'll help you, but _only if_ it proves absolutely necessary. Wait till Logan wakes up and ask him what he remembers. It could be enough for an arrest."

"Yeah, because things are usually that easy," Veronica said sardonically. "By the way, have you seen someone from the Sheriff's Department yet?"

* * *

"I'm sorry, Ms Mars, but he hasn't regained consciousness yet. The good news is that his blood pressure and vitals stabilised and, if things are going the way we hope for, we'll be able to release him from intensive care very soon," Doctor Benson told her that evening. He looked tired and overworked, so Veronica decided not to push it. She thanked him and slumped back into her seat. The waiting was wearing her down and the sleep-deprivation was adding to the general feeling of exhaustion. 

"Excuse me, miss," a young nurse interrupted her reading twenty minutes later.

"Yes?"

"You look as if you could do with some rest. Why don't you just leave your phone number and we'll call you as soon as your cousin wakes up?"

"This is very nice of you bu--"

"I'm Alice," the nurse told her with a bright smile. "I promise you that you'll learn about any change that may happen while you're away the minute I know. I'll be here for the next ten hours, so..."

Veronica thought about it. She could really do with some sleep and her dad would be worried, too. She also had a lot of reading to do for her criminology class. Unfortunately, time did not stand still when misfortune struck.

"Thanks, Alice. I'll take you up on it," she told the nurse, who was only a few years older than herself. "I'm Veronica," she added with a grateful smile.

When she left the hospital, Veronica found that she had two calls from Wallace, five from Piz and one from her dad. She dialled her dad's number as she climbed in the car.

"Hey," Keith's voice greeted her. "I was wondering when you were coming home."

"I'm on my way, dad."

"Good. Are you hungry? I'm making meatballs."

"Sounds great," she said, trying for cheerful.

"Oh, and Piz called. I haven't told him anything but you may want to give him a ring. He's worried."

"Will do, dad."

At the next red light she sent a text saying that she was busy and would call him when she had the time.

* * *

"Morning, honey." Keith turned the bacon as Veronica made her way to the fridge. She was already dressed and gulped down a glass of orange juice greedily. 

"Morning, dad. I'm in a hurry."

"Don't say another word, breakfast is ready," Keith told her and put a plate down in front of her. "And don't even think of skipping."

Veronica smiled and pouted at him. "Yes, daddy. Am I allowed to go out and play after school?"

"Only if you do your homework," Keith quipped. Veronica grimaced and bit into her bacon, crunching on it audibly. "Such an adorable kid you are." Keith patted her head. "Well, I'll be home late. Surveillance."

"All right. I'll be at the hospital anyway," Veronica said. She would have to do some detective work on her own after class. She could not rely on the press keeping conveniently silent and sooner or later they would find out and waylay the hospital. She would have a word with Sheriff Van Lowe, too, as much as the mere idea repulsed her.

* * *

"Hey, Alice, still here?" Veronica asked when she arrived and saw the familiar face, considerably less enthusiastic now. 

"Martin called in ill, so this means a double shift for me," Alice explained gravely. "But I have good news for you. Logan Echolls has been released from intensive care this morning. His new room is straight down the corridor and then on the right."

Veronica smiled happily. "Can I get you some coffee? From outside the hospital, I mean."

"That would make you my favourite person in the whole world," Alice groaned. Her grey eyes were tired and her shoulders slumped. Veronica nodded sympathetically and turned to get the coffee. She couldn't help smiling. Logan was out of intensive care. Things were finally looking up.

She was carrying two coffees when she heard her mobile ring. Again. She was pretty sure that it wasn't her dad; Two cups of coffee, two hands – the excuse not to answer the phone was water-tight. By the time Alice came and told her that Logan was awake she had seven unanswered calls. Anxious and relieved, she followed her down the corridor.

A doctor she did not know was in the room, checking the clipboard, but Veronica had only eyes for Logan.

"Hey," she said with forced cheerfulness. His face was multi-coloured now but his eyes lit up when he recognised her.

"Only ten minutes. Mr Echolls still needs rest," said the doctor. He caught up with Alice on the way out and gave her instructions.

"Look who the cat dragged in," Logan greeted her in a low but steady voice. Veronica pulled a plastic chair close to the bed and sat down. She was reaching for his hand when she saw that one finger was splinted and the whole hand bandaged.

"Oh, Logan," she whispered, trying to hold back the tears. He just looked at her, obviously happy to see her, which was somehow worse than if he had been angry at her.

"You told me he was connected," Logan said lightly, as if this was nothing more than the usual bruises he got whenever he got into a brawl.

"You could be dead!" Veronica exclaimed, staring him down.

Logan smiled an embarrassed little smile that turned into a grimace.

"Shall I call the nurse?" Veronica asked in a completely different tone.

"Nah, I've had better drugs, to be honest. What has the world come to?"

"The end. Almost for you anyway. Logan, I need you to tell me exactly what happened."

Logan's voice got even lower when he told her. He had parked his car in the usual place, had got out and headed for the hotel, when Gorya and two other guys he hadn't recognised jumped at him. He had defended himself, obviously, but the two guys had eventually got a hold on him. Then Gorya had drawn a knife and rammed it into him. He had said something about better not messing with a Sorokin and then everything had gone dark.

"Nice little set-up," Logan commented after a small pause. Veronica gave him an incredulous look. "Come on, what do you expect me to say?"

"I don't expect anything from you," Veronica said before she could help herself. It was too easy to fall back into old patterns. She could see the pain in Logan's eyes and felt sorry immediately. "Nothing, but to stay alive, OK?" she added to make up for her blunder. Why could he rile her so easily without even trying? "So, do you remember anything else? Maybe a name? Unusual clothing? Anything?"

"Veronica, it was dark and it was three against one. Do you get the feeling of the strangest little _déjà vu_, too?"

The bridge, Felix, the PCHers – of course, the irony wasn't lost on her. "Yeah, but last time you lied to me and the sheriff. Speaking of Vinnie, why would he not investigate this case at all?"

"I'm sorry," said Logan, looking everything but. "I just woke up from a coma. You don't expect me to do your job, do you?"

"Can you at least try to be helpful?" Veronica snapped.

Logan gave her one of his superior looks but, thanks to his coloured and swollen skin, it looked bizarre. "I did. That's why I'm here."

Oh, he was just too infuriating. Why did she try to keep him save in the first place? _Because you wouldn't want to miss his snarky comments for the world,_ a little voice piped up in the back of her mind. She took a deep breath and refrained from inducing the next round.

"I'm sorry, the ten minutes are up," a male nurse interrupted them. He was holding the door open, waiting for Veronica to leave. Logan looked as if their little chat had completely exhausted him.

"Logan, I'm...I'm sorry. I'll get the bastard, I promise," she said so quickly that the words tumbled together.

He managed a crooked smile. "Be careful, Ronnie."

Without thinking, she reached out and brushed his cheek. Then, deeply troubled, she turned around and left, not looking back. Her thoughts going helter-skelter, she almost ran into the sheriff.

"Well, if that isn't --" Vinnie van Lowe started.

"The last person you expected? Speaking of not living up to expectations, Vinnie, why are you here two days late?"

Vinnie smirked down at her. "Why would I waste my time here, drinking really bad coffee and waiting for a college kid to wake up? I had someone call me as soon as he did and here I am."

"Wow, you really exploit all resources," Veronica said sardonically.

"If I did, I would probably find out that you're not supposed to be here," he quipped with a smirk.

Veronica threw him a dark look. "Yes, that's definitely more important than finding the man with the knife. I'm glad you've got your priorities right."

"Well, it's been nice and all but I have a job to do. Speaking of which, how's Keith doing?"

"Splendid. Lots of clients that are disappointed with the law."

"I live to serve," Vinnie said, grinning, and turned away. Veronica entertained the possibility of sending a few thousand volts through the sheriff. It was a nice thought.

The rest of the day flew by. Time always did when she was working on a case that was so tricky. Gorya Sorokin wasn't an amateur but that didn't mean that he hadn't left any traces. She was pretty sure that he had. It was close to midnight when she finally found something on the crime scene pictures she had taken herself. Half an hour later she scribbled down an address with a feeling of satisfaction. Oh yes, he had been careful. But not careful enough.

She grabbed her bag and her camera and whistled for Backup.

* * *

It was early in the morning when she walked into the Sheriff's Department and she wasn't surprised to find that Vinnie hadn't shown yet. 

"Sacks," she greeted the deputy.

"Veronica. To what do we owe the pleasure this time?"

"This and that. Attempted murder you don't investigate. The usual."

"You'll have to wait for the sheriff," he said.

"Is that a Pavlovian response due to me opening my mouth?" Veronica smirked and made her way to the sheriff's office.

"You can't --"

"You know I can. Relax, Sacks. Vinnie and I are _this_ close." A medicine ball could have brought a few friends to exhaust the space between her arms.

Sacks sighed in resignation. "He won't be happy."

"I'm counting on it."

* * *

"Veronica, wait up!" Piz called after her. She took a deep breath and managed a smile as she turned towards him. She had been in a bitchy mood ever since Vinnie laughed about and shrugged off the photographic evidence and the names she provided him with. Granted, it wasn't much but she was getting the impression that he didn't _want_ to investigate the attack on Logan, and she was very interested in finding out why, especially after a sleepless night on a stake-out. She could still get to Gory through Jake Kane but the attack on Logan itself was not incriminating enough. Kane would shrug it off as Gory crossing the line by accident and Logan had thrown the first punch after all. Veronica had totally forgotten about Piz, occupied with the case, as she was walking to the library and heard his voice. This was inevitable, though she had hoped for later rather than sooner. 

"Hey."

"Hey," he said and gave her a soft kiss. Everything about their relationship was soft, gentle and nice. She could imagine what Logan, could almost hear what he would have to say, and it annoyed her even more that he invaded her thoughts like that. "I called you like twenty times. What's up?"

Not willing to have this discussion in a corridor, Veronica pulled him into one of the many alcoves of the building. "Sorry, Piz, I was preoccupied. Logan's in...in the hospital and I'm trying to find out who got him there."

"Oh," Piz said. "Well, I have a pretty good guess."

"Yeah, me too. But my job is to nail the bastard."

"Is it?" Piz frowned. "I mean, nobody deserves something like that but Logan kind of makes a habit of _punch first, ask questions later_. I guess the guy who posted that video paid him back."

Veronica gave him a tight smile, her nerves on end anyway. "So? Should I just lean back and let him get away with it? Sorry, I'm not built that way."

Piz raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "That's not what I said."

"Then what are you saying?" Veronica asked impatiently.

"I'm saying that you shut me out for three days because of him."

"So this is about you being jealous of Logan?" Veronica raised an eyebrow.

"No. _Yes_. Veronica, I love you but sometimes I just don't understand --"

"Exactly. You _don't_ understand. This is something I have to do."

Piz leaned against the wall, a picture of misery. "Why?"

Veronica gave him an incredulous look. "Because that's what I do, Sherlock. Private Eye, remember? On your first day, I found your stuff, too, and I can't remember you were complaining then."

"That's not what I meant. It's Logan. He was a friend of Mercer's, he slept with this Madison girl you hate, and not two weeks ago he beat me into a pulp for something I didn't do and yet, you forget about it in a heartbeat, forget about all of us, because he's in a mess."

Veronica felt her temper rising. "Well, maybe I should have told you about the things he did right every now and then. When Dick's little brother tried to kill me, he saved my life, and he helped me through the worst night of my life, when I believed my dad had been blown up. When Moe drugged me and tried to shave my head, he was there and saved me, again." Piz gasped in horror. "Right, you didn't know. You don't know about a lot of things Logan and I went through together. I was furious at what he did to you and I made that very clear. But when the worst comes to the worst I'm there for him because he's always got my back, too."

"I'm sorry, Veronica," Piz said and he looked it. It was so easy to silence him, too easy.

Veronica took a deep breath. "Piz, let's be honest, we don't work out."

"What?"

"You are the ideal boyfriend and...the girl I used to be in high school would have been happy to have you. Hell, I _want_ to be happy with you, want to have a boyfriend my dad likes and who doesn't have a criminal record."

"Veronica!" Piz looked shocked, understanding really dawning on him. This was it and he was obviously not ready.

She pushed back a strand of hair. "Please, let me get this out. I used to be like that. Never in trouble, only visiting the sheriff's office because my mum asked me to bring dad lunch. The thing is, that's not me anymore. My friend Lilly's death...well, it changed me and I can't go back to who I was. I don't believe in karma, Piz, I'm more of an Alekto kind of girl."

"That's fine. I like who you are now," Piz assured her, desperation evident in his voice.

"No, you don't," Veronica replied pointedly. "I'm sorry, Piz. I'm really sorry."

"So this is it? You're breaking up with me just like that? Because I question you once?"

"Come on, you dislike a lot of things I do, you just don't tell me."

"Well, I did now. And I can't believe that you just throw it all away," Piz reproached her. "You're still in love with him, aren't you?"

She swallowed the reply, knowing it was the right thing to do, but she felt sorry for him and _them _nonetheless. "It's complicated," she admitted. "I'm sorry."

But the truth was that she didn't feel as sorry as she should.

* * *

The good thing about working in a library was that she had access to the internet and enough time to do some research. Veronica knew that Gorya had family secrets nobody wanted to unbury. Literally. But she would be surprised if he was a law-abiding citizen during his time in college. Old habits die hard. The easiest way to find out what he was up to was surveillance but he was far too clever for the standard procedure. She was confident that the Castle members had done their homework, at least superficially. They might not mind someone with family connections to the Russian Mafia but they would not welcome petty criminals with open arms. What she found out now was that his finances were fishy. He received a generous monthly allowance but he seemed to spend more than that. On what? He did not live in the presidential suite of the most expensive hotel in town, as she knew the two resident rich boys with attitudevery well. Perhaps he had an expensive and hopefully illegal hobby or did some business that required investment. 

"Sorry, where do I find biographies from the Revolutionary period?"

Slightly annoyed, Veronica looked up and told the freshman where to go. Damn college students.

The easiest way to get more personal information was to get her hands on Gorya's cell phone. Unfortunately, he wouldn't let it lie around unguarded and he knew her and her friends. So the second best option was to find his best friend or minion of hell or whoever he surrounded himself with and borrow his.

Veronica took out her own cell and pressed a number on speed dial. "Hey Mac, I need a favour."

* * *

As soon as the library closed, she rushed to her car. One could always rely on Mac. She had hacked into Gorya's email account and found that none of his emails contained anything Veronica could use right away, but then, she hadn't expected him to keep the juicy stuff in his inbox. However, Mac had given her a name. According to her, Sorokin was pretty close to one Kriztoph Pokrovskij. Apart from having a name that was hard to spell, he was a student at Hurst, a party animal and had a father who had become rich in the automobile industry. He also lived nearby and usually worked out at this time of the day. Within ten minutes she parked in front of the apartment complex he lived in. 

Sneaking in was not a problem but, unfortunately, he shared his room with someone not interested in working out. Upon knocking, a bespectacled guy opened the door.

"Yeah?" he asked with as little interest as he would have given a Windows 98 version.

"Is Chris here? He told me where he lived at the party." Veronica did her best bimbo impersonation.

"He isn't here but he'll be back in an hour or so. Come back later or give him a call," the guy said and tried to close the door in her face. Veronica's foot was faster.

"Hey, aren't you a bundle of sunshine." She smiled anxiously at him. "The thing is, I shouldn't be here at all 'cause I have, like, a boyfriend. Not that it's serious but he's totally jealous."

"How nice. Now, walk away," Kriztoph's roommate told her. She knew this type of guy: always in the background, watching his athletic and decidedly less intelligent roomie getting all the hot chicks, always left to handle those who were stupid enough to take Kriztoph's flirting seriously.

"Are you, like, busy or something?"

"Yes, I have an exam tomorrow."

"And you're studying while Chris is away doing whatever he is doing right now? You look like a smart guy. You know, with glasses and all," she said and twirled her hair. Kriztoph's roomie rolled his eyes but did not look as annoyed as at the beginning of their conversation.

"I like smart guys," Veronica purred and looked at him soulfully. The colour of his skin changed dramatically and he lost his cockiness. "What's your name?"

"Alan," the guy sputtered and pushed his glasses up, trying to look confident now.

"Well, Alan, I have a problem and I would be _so grateful_if you could help me."

The rest was a piece of cake. She told him that she had given Kriztoph her number and that he had saved it on his cell. Wouldn't he be so kind and call her when he was back and busy doing something like taking a shower? She would just delete the number and everyone would be happy and she would never forget what a chivalric and sweet guy he was, promise. Of course, he was delighted to be of service. It helped that he could get one over on Kriztoph as well.

She waited in her car and fought something as banal as sleep, since she had been working all night and hadn't closed her eyes at all. The day had been eventful and exciting enough, too. Slightly ashamed, Veronica realised that she didn't regret breaking up with Piz and that she wasn't crushed either. Staying with him would have been unfair, since her heart had no longer been in it. Piz deserved better than being the rebound, a fact she had been pointedly denying during their relationship. No, she had not been deliberately cruel, she had wanted it to work. And it could have worked, no, it _should_ have worked.

Her cell rang. Showtime.

"Thank you so much. That's like totally nice of you," she told Alan, when he handed her the cell phone. Quickly, she searched through the telephone book and sent all contacts to her disposable phone, deleting the message afterwards.

"All done. Wow, you're like my knight in shining armour, Alan," she said with a big smile on her face. Mine _and Logan's_, she added silently. Alan blushed and a tiny part of her pitied him. The only girl who ever noticed him was a PI using him for information. She blew him a kiss before she left.

* * *

_"__Bad luck struck the __Echolls__ clan once again on Tuesday night__ when an unknown person __attacked__ Logan __Echolls__, son of the late actress Lynn __Echolls__ and acquitted movie star __Aaron __Echolls__, who was murdered in the self-same hotel in front of which the attack happened. Logan __Echolls__ is __currently in __a __hospital__ in Neptune__ but __apparently not in a critical condition, though we have __not __been able to get a confirmed statement yet. When asked, his sister Trina said that she had not been informed about her brother's condition. She was moved to tears by the news_ _But __despite this personal tragedy, she is reported to have spen__d the rest of the evening in the infamous Viper B__ar in__ Hollywood__ Back to you, Tim."_

Veronica switched the TV off and stabbed angrily at her salad. The press had to report the attack sooner or later and she was glad that it had taken them so long, but she wasn't ready, hadn't collected enough information to keep Gorya away from Logan. For now, she was just damn tired. Sometimes, life was a bitch. Without finishing her meal she walked into her room and collapsed on her bed.

* * *

Standing in the door, Keith said, "Morning, honey." 

Veronica peeked at him from under her pillow. "Hmmph."

"Yep, that's bacon you smell. Now get up, sweetie." Her dad was too cheerful by far. She fumbled for her watch and almost jumped out of bed when she saw the time. 10.30. Damn. Veronica showered quickly, got dressed and stuffed herself with bacon and toast in record time.

"Going somewhere?" Keith asked, amused.

"I wanted to be in the office two hours ago. I need to make a lot of phone calls and if I'm lucky I'll be ready to blackmail Gorya Sorokin at the end of the day," she told him between bites.

"That's my girl," Keith said. "You had better be home for dinner though. I got the money shot last night. Steaks and wine are on me."

She leaned forward and gave him a peck. "Will do."

Veronica was at the door when he said, "I don't have to tell you to be careful, do I?"

"Careful is my middle name. You should know," she grinned and closed the door behind her.

The next hours flew by. Apart from Gorya's, she called every number in Kriztoph's phone book and tried to connect the dots. When she made a lunch break at 2.30 she knew that Kriztoph had a gambling problem and that Gorya sponsored it. Why? Gorya didn't strike her as the philanthropic type, so he had to have an ulterior motif. Perhaps having a closer look at the bookie would give her a better idea what she was dealing with.

Bingo. The bookie was in fact not a bookie at all and Kriztoph did not have a gambling problem. No, he and his buddy Gorya were apparently deeply involved in the flourishing crystal trade, which – as she knew from Cliff – was growing rapidly. Not so very lucrative six months ago, definitely worth the while now. Veronica smiled like a cat that had just spotted a very fat mouse. Oh yes, she could work with that all right.

"Home already?" Keith asked when she arrived at home early.

"I plan on doing the salad," Veronica answered. "You know, the green stuff."

"You mean healthy green stuff?" her dad frowned.

"The very one," she called to him from her room, changing into something more appropriate for surveillance.

"Were you successful, daughter of mine?"

She gave him a sceptical look. "I'm always successful but, yes, found something I can work with. I saved everything I have on this disc." She held it in front of her body, doing a good imitation of the lady on the shopping channel.

"Gimme, gimme," said Keith, reaching for it.

She snatched it away. "Not yet. I still need photographic evidence, which I plan on getting after dinner. I'll take Backup."

"Do you want me to come, too? I'm free tonight."

"I bet you were looking forward to spending the night on the couch, watching football," Veronica challenged him. Keith smiled guiltily. "I'm a big girl. I passed the PI exam, didn't I? You stay home and enjoy the testosterone rush."

"I feel it bubbling up already," Keith growled.

Veronica snickered and cut the tomatoes. Two hours later she and Backup set off. It turned out to be a good night because, just after midnight, Kriztoph's lean and swarthy figure turned up, collected a brown envelop and drove straight to a pub, where he met Gorya and handed him the envelop. Not so clever after all, if one knew where to look.

* * *

"What? Back again?" Logan asked, looking pleased. 

"It's your charm and the smell of sedatives. I couldn't resist," she bantered. She had slept well the night before and decided to pay Logan a visit on Sunday. Immediately, she spotted a huge bouquet on the bed stand, which dampened her mood decidedly. "I see I'm not the first who hit the hay," she said coolly and pointed at the bouquet.

"Oh, that's from my dear sister, who couldn't come here in person due to her exhausting schedule," Logan replied dismissively. He gave her an enquiring look. "Any news?"

"Yep," she said and sat down at the foot of his bed, slightly embarrassed about her reaction. Veronica busied herself with rummaging through her bag and eventually pulled out the disc. She waved it around with a triumphant smile. "You see, Gory isn't only deeply disturbed and the son of a professional murderer, no, he is also involved in some pretty dirty business on his own. Turns out he has his hands in the local crystal trade, which, according to Cliffy, is on the up and up. Naturally, he's pretty clever and has other people doing the dirty work. He's good at hiding his involvement, most likely because he doesn't want his daddy to know about his extra-curricular activities. That's why the Castle doesn't know a thing about these little part-time jobs. I plan on letting them know."

"Wow." Logan whistled. "And you're sure you're not busting the family business?"

"Positive. I dug pretty deep and he's acting alone with his best buddy as second in command. The family are not involved in any of this. The best part is that Gory and Chris sell adulterated stuff. There have been seven deaths in the last four months."

"Hmm," Logan made. "Just make sure that you won't become my roomie any time soon, OK?"

Veronica gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. Dad knows." Logan raised an eyebrow but said nothing. "Come on, Logan, he doesn't want you dead either."

"Lucky me, huh?"

She only shrugged and put the disc back into her bag.

"So how are things at Hurst?" Logan asked after a few seconds of rather palatable silence.

"Since when are you interested in college politics?" Veronica teased.

"I'm not. How's Piz?" The question hit here unawares.

"No longer bruised."

"Touché," Logan said but the smirk betrayed him. It was like in the good old days when they could chat without watching out for landmines. She blamed this treacherous feeling for what she said next.

"I ended things."

Logan's face fell and he looked at her warily. Veronica averted her eyes.

"Why? Is the perfect romance not so perfect anymore?"

His remark was not as sharp as it could have been but it hit too close to the truth. "None of your business, Logan."

"Remember the last time you said that?" he asked and made an all-encompassing gesture. She glared at him and prepared to leave.

"Oh yeah, run Veronica. That's what you always do after all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You really have to ask? You run whenever things are getting emotional and you can't control them. You've been running from me since we first kissed at the Camelot."

How had this conversation become a minefield in under a minute? He looked at her, his set jaw a challenge. If she left now he would be right. If she stayed he would go on saying things she did not want to hear. Things had gotten out of hand, as usual when Logan was involved. Why she had told him about Piz escaped her.

"Nonsense," she hissed defensively.

"Whatever." Logan shrugged and leaned back against his pillow, reminding her of where they were. He looked paler than when she came in. Perhaps she should stay away for a few days. The silence stretched. Or a week. "You know why near-death experiences are a bitch? They put things into perspective," he said, his voice lower than before. She couldn't read his expression, as much as she tried, and she found herself unable to just get up and leave.

"Logan, don't," she pleaded. This was getting into territory she had been avoiding around him for she knew not how long. Maybe forever.

"Why not? What are you going to do, Veronica?" His eyes focussed on her and there it was again. The sincere and soulful look that always got to her. He nodded almost imperceptibly and turned his head. "You know, I always thought I couldn't love anyone as much as Lilly. She was special. She was like a blinding light you couldn't stop staring at. And there I was, stupid enough to think that I was good enough. And then she died and left me. And then you came along."

Veronica's words of protest froze before they left her mouth, and she looked at him, speechless. Her hands were clasping the strap of her bag and she felt compelled to hold on to it.

Logan sighed. "You're like an addiction, Veronica. I can't let go and move on, I can't. When I see you I want to get a reaction out of you, good or bad. I _hate_ the thought of you being with someone else. But this...this makes you Lilly Kane all over. I'm not good enough and I will never be."

"Logan," she whispered but she knew that she couldn't stop him now.

"Whatever I do, I will never measure up to your expectations, will I? Because a tiny part of you wants me to fail. Remember the pool house? I asked you to trust me and you said you did. Well, you lied. You _never_ fucking trusted me. Whenever things are getting crazy, you just assume that I'm out to hurt you."

"That is _not true_, Logan. I trusted you," Veronica protested but it sounded hollow in her ears.

"Oh yeah?" He caught her eyes. "Imagine that video would've been out before we broke up. Who would have been your first and main suspect?"

A wave of horror swept over her. No, she would not have thought of Logan, she wouldn't have!

"Even after Lilly and my dad's tapes, you'd still have thought that I was capable of taping you," he continued unperturbed. Bitterness was dripping from every syllable.

"I..." she began but found herself at a loss for words. He must have practised this speech, she realised. It sounded too collected to come out of the blue. And then he asked the all too familiar question he always asked when things went to hell.

"What did I do, Veronica?"

Her mind was screaming that he had treated her like shit during the year she would have needed him the most; that he was responsible for there being GHB at Shelley's party; that he had slept with Madison fucking Sinclair; that he had used his wit to hurt her numerous times. But she couldn't say it. He was lying in hospital for doing something she would have loved to do, for doing it _for her_. And he had always been there, even when she believed she would never need him again. She wanted to snap at him, make him come face to face with all the anger that was inside her because, damn, he was asking for it. But then, that's what she always did. Reproaches and words so sharp they cut deeper than any knife, that was their vicious circle, the pattern they followed every time. She closed her eyes and let go of the breath she had been holding.

"You got too close," she whispered. "And you didn't let me run." She stood up abruptly, grabbed her bag and fled the room before he could say another word.

* * *

Veronica sat in the car for a long time, watching the traffic around her. Logan had run her over like an avalanche and left her on the ground, shattered. He had always been the more outspoken one, which, considering his background, was a miracle in itself, but he had never talked to her like that before. It felt wrong to be in the defensive and she cursed herself for letting him get under her skin. She was always in control, she had to be, because if she wasn't, friends died on her and people she loved left her. But of course he knew that. He knew about every loss, knew things even her dad didn't know. Damn him! Logan Echolls should just shut the hell up, accept the rules of their game and keep the shards of his existence to himself. Yes, she was responsible for a few of them but, after all, he had hurt her, too, and neither of them backed off, ever. Veronica didn't notice the tears until they dropped off her chin. 

But she wouldn't be Veronica Mars if she broke that easy. She wiped the tears away and took a deep shuddering breath before turning the engine and the radio on.

* * *

Monday morning came too early as usual. She had spent the rest of Sunday calling Jake Kane, Clarence Wiedman and everyone who might have Kane's private number. She also had been busy trying not to think of what Logan had said and had gone to bed early. 

But Monday mornings were inevitable. Veronica heard her dad's voice as she entered the office. When she peeked around the corner she saw that he was on the phone.

"Hey, honey," Keith greeted her, smiling broadly. "Yes," he said into the phone. "And hi from Cliff. He's still waiting for the spiked coffee you promised him."

"It got cold on the way," she grinned. "Tell him to watch out for me and virgin but damn good double espresso tomorrow morning." She motioned to her desk and Keith nodded. Work didn't wait. What he didn't know was that Veronica was only waiting for him to finish his call. She was actually grateful because talking to Cliff would make her dad good-humoured and it gave her a few more minutes to elaborate on her strategy.

"Don't forget the bourbon. See you then," Keith said a few minutes later. When Veronica heard the receiver being put down she stood up and straightened her shirt. Showtime.

"Hey, dad," she said in her sweetest voice and leaned against the doorframe.

"I'm not sure but are all fathers in fear of that voice?" He grinned absent-mindedly and sorted through his files.

"What voice?" she asked innocently.

"Spill it, honey. What do you want?"

Veronica kept her smile. "Remember what we talked about in the hospital?"

Keith nodded soberly and gave her his undivided attention. "I'd rather not. Have you tried everything else?"

She sighed. "Yes, I have. I tried Jake Kane's old number first but I didn't expect him to answer. I called Clarence Wiedman yesterday and he told me to get lost. I called several phone companies – on a Sunday – and people who are supposedly close to Jake Kane but they all got instructions from Kane Security. I've also been stalking and bothering our beloved sheriff and I smell corruption. He is more interested in old grannies being robbed than in solving the attack on Logan, who, incidentally, is about to be released this week. I need to do something, dad."

Keith didn't look happy at all. "I don't know, Veronica. Is it worth it? I wasn't happy about you helping Duncan in the first place but this...this is risky."

Veronica raised an eyebrow. "I've thought it through. There is no other way. If you can think of anything else..."

Keith shook his head. "No, but..."

"Please?" she pleaded and used her last weapon. _The __stare_

"I hate you," her father said and, waving her out, he picked up the phone.

* * *

The crumpled note lay before her on the desk. She had been staring at it for ten minutes straight, debating what to do. No, she knew what to do but she didn't like it any better because of that. Taking a deep breath, she dialled the number. She heard the dial tone six times before someone picked up. 

"Duncan?" she asked into the new disposable cell phone.

"Wh...Veronica?" Duncan's voiced asked back, incredible. "Why are you...what is going on?"

"Don't jump through the phone. It's nothing the matter with your family or anything --"

"Are you OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she said pointedly. "And I know that I promised never to call you but this is an emergency."

"It had better be. You know how dangerous --"

"I know. Believe me, I know," she assured him. Silence. "Are you and Lilly OK?"

"Yeah. So what is this about?"

Good, no small talk then. Veronica bit her lip. "It's Logan. Have you ever heard of the Castle?"

More silence and breathing. "Yes. Has he gotten involved?"

"No. Well, sort of. It's more that I did and Logan took it upon himself to defend my honour."

"You're back together with him?" She was sure that she did not imagine the edge territorial jealousy gave to the question.

"No," she answered. Duncan did not have to know about their history. "No, I'm dating someone else. Someone from college." There was no reason to get nit-picky about technicalities either. "But that's beside the point. The guy Logan beat up is dangerous and, well, _connected_, if you get my meaning. Duncan, he stabbed Logan almost to death and he will try again if I can't reach your dad."

"My dad?" Duncan enquired flatly.

"Listen, we don't have time for this sort of game. I know about him and I know about the Castle. He knows that I know, too. But he left town and Clarence Wiedman is doing a good job of ensuring his privacy. I can't get to him without your help."

"I don't know Veronica. It's an awful risk for Lilly and me."

Veronica played the only card she knew would work. "He's your best friend."

She wasn't sure if he was still there because the silence stretched forever.

"I see what I can do," he eventually said and hung up. No goodbye, nothing. Veronica swallowed and put the phone down.

* * *

Her criminology class was a farce now that Landry and Tim were both gone. They were told to complete their reading and meet up for discussion groups while the administration was looking for a replacement. Veronica was usually bored out of her mind and so she was looking forward to lunch with Wallace. As soon as the term was over he would leave and spend his summer trying to save the world. 

"Do I know you?" Wallace said as she threw herself unceremoniously onto the seat opposite her best friend.

"No idea. Maybe from high school." Veronica looked at her meal in disgust. "Seriously, do they order meat that looks disgusting or is it just living in the kitchens for too long?"

"Is it moving?"

"Not anymore," Veronica replied and stabbed it with her fork. They both laughed.

"How have you been? Haven't seen you in over a week," Wallace said a little grumpily.

"Sorry. You know how it is." Veronica wondered how much he knew from Piz and whether he wanted to have a girls talk about it. But Wallace, bless him, didn't tell her how stupid she was for dumping Piz and rattled on about his end-of-term exams.

"I'll miss you this summer," Veronica interrupted him, smiling.

Wallace looked around before turning back to her. "Did you just say this in public?"

Veronica slapped his arm. "What can I say? I love the spotlight. That's why Trina Echolls replaced you as my BFF."

Wallace snorted. "Speaking of Echolls, what's up with Logan? It's all over the news that he's been in some sort of...what did they call it..._violent disagreement__ with an unknown person_."

"Yeah, with your Castle buddy from hell."

Wallace's face darkened. "I helped you, didn't I?"

Veronica gave him an apologetic smile. "You did."

"Is he OK?"

"Not really. They wanted him dead, Wallace. I'm not happy that it's all over the news but Gory is taken care of." Almost.

"Wohow, easy tiger. Speaking of a guy taken care of with a Clint Eastwood look, that's reserved for the big boys."

"It's not all about size, as you should know by now," she replied. Her cell phone rang. The display didn't give her a hint, so she answered the call with a casual "Hello?"

"Duncan called me. He said it's urgent."

Jake Kane. Her heart skipped a beat. She threw Wallace a look that told him to stay silent.

"It is. I have come to get my hands on something you may find interesting. It's about the charity we talked about in your house quite recently."

"Didn't we agree not to talk about this organisation again?" he asked sharply.

"That's before one of your members tried to trick your son's best friend out of something more valuable than money. You do remember your son's best friend? Your daughter's boyfriend?" Jake didn't grace this with a reply, so she went on. "One of your junior members has quite an extensive family with charitable interests that may differ from yours. You know about that of course. What you don't know is that your latest addition to the organisation is involved in some sort of independent charity of his own, something that would make his family gnash their teeth if they found out."

"I see. Why not hand him in?"

"Because the law seems to be involved in this kind of charity, too, and your boy would likely stop doing what he is doing and I would have to start all over again to stop him from taking Logan off to the cleaners."

"That's all very touching but what has this got to do with me, Veronica?"

"Come on, isn't that obvious? It would shed a very negative light on your organisation if I sent what I have to someone with paper, ink and a printing press. Let's say someone who would be able to connect the dots."

He hissed into the phone.

"Listen, I promised not to get involved and I owe that to Duncan, too. If your recruiters were a little more thorough we wouldn't have this conversation. I will let you handle it and stay away from your charity. But someone needs to control your boy's extra-curricular activities and it had better be done quickly."

"All right, send your proof to Wiedman, I'll take it from there," Jake agreed and hung up.

Like father like son, Veronica thought wryly, before she turned back to Wallace and smiled at him, relieved. "So, when are you leaving for your big adventure?"

* * *

Since her dad had spent the evening with Cliff and their common buddy Jack, Veronica woke to the sound of her alarm clock. After getting up, she crunched unenthusiastically on her cereals, her mind being elsewhere. The week before, she had been in the hospital, waiting for Logan to regain consciousness after the attack. As reluctant she was to admit it, she had been seriously scared of losing him. Having this big case had been a godsend. But now it was all done, the day was saved and Veronica was staring down at her cereals, which were getting soft in the milk. Sooner or later she would have to face up to the chaotic turmoil that were her feelings. She peeled a banana when she heard her cell phone ringing. 

Later then.

Veronica postponed visiting the person that seemed to have always been the black hole in the very midst of said turmoil until the evening. When she walked into the hospital after work she was disappointed to discover that Alice wasn't there.

Seeing the empty bed, however, was like a kick in the stomach. He had been released without telling her, no, he had left without giving a damn about his safety, since she had not told him yet that the deal was closed. For a few seconds, she was too angry to breathe.

No, she didn't like it when _he_ ran. Not at all.

* * *

Veronica was still in a mood when she arrived in the library. After all she had done for him, he could at least not jeopardise his life like this. Hypothetically, of course. 

"We meet again." Gorya Sorokin was leaning against the help desk and looking at her with cold eyes. Oh, just what she needed to make this day perfect.

"I didn't know you were into books. But then, I don't care about getting to know you, so why don't you get lost?"

"You did that. You got involved again, bitch. Are you that stupid or do you really have a death wish?"

Veronica gave him a cutting smile. "Empty words, Sorokin, and we both know it."

"I should kill you right here," Gorya threatened and stepped closer. The library was inconveniently empty.

She reached into her bag and her fingers clenched around her tazer but her voice was unwavering. "If you want to spend the rest of your life in jail, please, go ahead. The moment something happens to me, Logan or my dad, a disc with incriminating information finds its way to the press. Not only proof of you attacking Logan, no, also about your interesting part-time job and the little titbits of family life you shared with the Castle. And it might be good to remember who got an internship with the FBI this summer." Veronica gave him a nasty smile and pointed at herself.

"You'll regret this," he promised but it was only words, as they both knew.

"No," she snarled. "You'll regret messing with me and my friends. Because this is nothing. That wasn't revenge, that was self-preservation. I'm good at revenge, Gory, and you are on the very top of my list. So you had better watch your back from now on and you had better make sure to stay 100 yards away from everyone I know and care about. If you only look at any of us in a way I don't like, I'll make your life hell."

"This isn't over," Gory said but he backed off and his eyes had lost their mad glimmer.

"Say hello to Kriztoph," she countered with a deceptively sweet voice.

That was the only real punch she had thrown so far and it hit home. From what she had learned, Kriztoph was Gorya's best friend, the only person he counted on. Seeding doubts about his loyalty was probably the worst thing she could do to him.

"You fucking bitch," he hissed, cheeks pale from the blow.

"People like you cannot count on anyone, Gory. And now evaporate or I'll throw Holy Water."

His eyes were narrowed and filled with hatred. She had won this round, hands down, and he could do nothing but retreat and lick his wounds. But no, this wasn't over.

* * *

The mirror was as big as the wall and she felt small sitting there and waiting, with nowhere else to look at but herself. Her face was framed by her long, wavy hair and it made her look vulnerable. She thought she knew who she was but now she felt herself wondering who she _wanted_ to be. Since Lilly's death it had been as if she was living for them both. There were still traces of the Veronica who wore pastel colours and was constantly amazed by Lilly's daring exploits. But there was also the angry and desperate Veronica from after the murder, defiant to the core out of necessity. And then there was the Veronica who did what Lilly would have done and told her to do all along, the Veronica who crossed borders and played to her strengths. Somewhere in-between, hidden under all these layers, was Veronica Mars, college student, daughter of Keith Mars, the one who was desperately in need of a haircut. 

"I'm sorry that you had to wait. My name is Lauren and let me tell you that you have beautiful hair. What did you have in mind?"

Veronica blinked, her eyes focussing on the reflection of the young woman with the fashionably short hair behind her.

"Something different," she answered with a smile. She had made her choice.

* * *

Empty bottles and take-away boxes were littering the place next to the fridge when she plucked up the courage and used her key card two days later. The usual game noises filled the air and every now and then she heard him swear. 

"It's like you never left," she commented. He knew that she was there, although he hadn't acknowledged her presence. Eyes focussed on the screen, the fingers of his uninjured hand flying over the controller, he looked as if nothing could hurt him. Not badly. The sight was so familiar that a smile crept over her face.

"I didn't expect to hear from you any time soon, never mind an actual visit. I was counting on Christmas. A card maybe," he said without looking up from the game.

"Well, Christmas has come early. Ho, ho, ho," she told him, good-humoured.

"Did you bring the rod?" he asked with a smirk.

"You know that there are things you shouldn't underlay with innuendo, right? It's Santa, for Christ's sake." She dropped her bag but didn't walk closer to him.

Logan heaved a melodramatic sigh. "The point being that I was a naughty, naughty boy. But now you ruined it," he drawled. A shiver run down her spine. Only Logan could make such a ridiculous sentence sound hot like hell.

"There was a point?" she asked lightly. "Hmm, must have escaped me. So..." she faltered and let her eyes roam the room. "I see you're up and well."

He noticed the change in her tone immediately and his eyes flickered over to her for a split second. His gaze froze midway back to the screen and moved back to where she stood.

"You had your hair cut," he stated neutrally. She could not read his expression at all.

"Time for a change, y'know? Wasn't really me anymore." It was almost nervously that Veronica ran a hand through her hair, which was cut to chin length. Her heart was beating faster and she regretted to have dropped her bag. No, she couldn't pick it up now without making it seem like she was leaving. _Or running._

"I see." He didn't say whether he liked it or not, he didn't make a witty comment, but she saw in his smile that something registered, that he understood. He nodded her over. "Want to stay for a game?"

Veronica grimaced. "I'm not ready for another bloodfest just yet and I have to be at work in half an hour. You know, that's what the lower classes do to stay out of the way of the likes of you."

Logan ignored the lame jab, nodding almost imperceptibly, and she could see that he was unsure what to make of this, make of her _in his home_, bantering away as if nothing had happened.

"I could come by later," she said casually.

Logan, who had been turning back to the game, looked at her, cocking an eyebrow. "You could."

"If you have plans I don't --"

Logan chuckled. "Veronica, that Ruskie stabbed me, he didn't bash my head in. I know when opportunity is knocking and I do like when it's blond and sexy."

"I'd go for feisty," she said, her cheeks hot.

"You would," he answered warmly and their eyes locked. There it was again, the mutual understanding that went beyond anything she had experienced with any of her other boyfriends. Had she just thought of him as her...? The silence was comfortable this time and it would be so easy to stay with him, to sit down and get lost in these eyes. Or try to kick his ass in a one-on-one battle. On screen, of course.

The door was opened noisily. "Hey, Logan, you there? Still on the couch playing, yeah? Dude, at least it all grows back together or you'd look like Swiss cheese or something." Dick stopped dead as he reached the room and saw Veronica.

"I'm so glad someone comes up with the appropriate imagery," she said and grabbed her bag. The spell was broken. Dick looked from Veronica to Logan, who sat there, smirking.

"Some things never change, huh?" Dick asked no-one in particular. Neither of them answered but Logan winked at her and Veronica smiled all the way to her car. Later, they would talk and maybe they would work out this time. She'd make sure to wear something he liked. Under her dress.

_Fin_

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